obession recruit

As if I didn't already spend enough time on the computer, OR that I don't have better things to do... say like, I don't know, reverse that whole unemployed thing. I have been a member of JPG Magazine's on-line site for a little over a year now; not until recently have I actively participated in the on-going themes or viewed other photographers however. And boy do I feel like I'm playing catch up, with about 5 or six images in circulation.

I have a bit of a love/hate (ok... maybe love/annoyance) with the site oddly enough. On the one hand here is this venue that allows others to critique your work, sometimes offer a little ego stroking, and often times rev up the inspiration train when searching for a project. But on the other hand, there's a tinge of frustration that occasionally passes over me. Thoughts like "really, that is the most AMAZING photo this person has ever seen", "this person didn't even read the guidelines", and other inappropriately blood boiling triggers.

I guess what it comes down to is, even though I know I have a million and one things to learn about being a photographer (I can't even actually call myself one... it's like saying "I love you" for the first time) and there are about a billion better folks out there, it doesn't take much for me to feel discouraged these days, instead of fueled by the desire to be better. That's the breaks when you put yourself out on the subjective limb, I know, but it sure is a drag when you have those days that it seems like everyone has lost their minds and I might as well shoot with my eyes closed, scan a pile of dog crap, title it something profound, and I'll be the toast of the town.

The pendulum swings the other way too when it's convenient and although the photo chosen is by far not an absolute favorite I'm still basking in (and hypocritically boasting) the small victory of being considered "hotness". Apparently my need to be validated overrides my scrutinizing ways. So, even if you're one with bad taste, choose me and no-one else. And there you have it. The flawed logic of Erin.