Friday, November 14, 2008

sick days: things i had


AILMENTS:
• Fever
• Aching
• Tight Chest (i.e. breathing too deep may result in sharp cry aloud)
• Headache (i.e. skull too small for something that wanted to smash out of head)
• Cold Sweats (i.e. wet t-shirt contest, water bed, and constant pasty sheen)
• Swollen Eyelid (Minature Eyeliditus-- eye appears to be on backwards when closed, opens halfway when trying to see, limited visibility; look less like "bedroom eye" more like street brawler or Sloth)
• Muscle Pain
• Eczema (hi gross hand; also known as "insult to injury")
• Hair that morphed into Russell Brand's
• Coughing
• Grouchiness
• The Blues
• Bizarre Dreams
• Television Overexposure
• Fear of a myriad of possible undetermined/upcoming diseases as suggested by multiple viewings of The Doctors (vulnerable state of mind + with slight hypochondria = why the hell not go with worst case scenario); Damn you The Bachelor's Travis Stork
• Aging (sure, why not... one day in front of the other and there you go)

ELIXIRS:
• Theraflu
• Excedrin
• Advil
• Herbal Tea
• Benadryl
• Nyquil
• Band-aids
• Chicken Noodle Soup
• Ice Cream
• Water
• My Boyfriend
• Good Friends
• Unicorns
• Eye of Newt
• Toe of Frog
• Dachshund Cuddling
• Wishful Thinking
• Shamrock Juice
• Snake Venom
• Barry Gibb's Chest Hair
Family Feud

*Note -- I have to say that I have not been this miserable or sick in a very long time and I hated almost every second of it. The bright side is that I am deeply thankful for the health that I do have and very respectfully admire folks that bravely deal with much greater illnesses . And in all seriousness my silly bout with the flu (and random extras) was a nice wake up call in more ways than one.

1 comment:

JB said...

I told you not to have the fish balls washed down with a slender quencher.