Monday, October 6, 2008

grammar + me = C-

  • Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
  • Don’t use no double negatives.
  • Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
  • Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
  • Do not put statements in the negative form.
  • Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  • No sentence fragments.
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  • Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language.
  • Take the bull by the hand in leading away from mixed metaphors.
  • Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  • Try to never split infinitives.
  • Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  • Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  • I must have told you a million times to resist hyperbole.
  • Also, avoid awkward and affected alliteration.
  • “Avoid overuse of ‘quotation “marks” ’ “.
  • Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
  • A writer must not shift your point of view.
  • And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  • Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!
  • Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their antecedents.
  • Write all adverbial forms correct.
  • Avoid un-necessary hyphenation.
  • When dangling, watch your participles.
  • It is incumbent on us to avoid archaic phrases.
  • Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  • It’s hard to imagine a phrase when you will have needed the future perfect.
  • Unqualified superlatives are the worst.
  • A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
  • Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
Crap. I hope no-one is grading me.

Never-say-neverisms via mapping.com

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Haha. This is funny.