Thursday, August 21, 2008

tropical storm offensive


As you may have heard Tropic Thunder has elicited some strong opposing opinions from disability advocacy groups, notably for the depiction of mental retardation. Well I saw the movie yesterday and I think a few more groups need to add their voices to the mix. I mean, really, who does Ben Stiller think he is. Comedy, blatant joking, and poking fun at your own industry's ineptitude is just not funny. So I expect we have not heard the last of the uprising.

POTENTIAL RETALIATIONS (if you haven't seen the movie you might want to hold your horses here or wait for The New York Times headlines which I'm sure are only a matter of time):

1) The African American community-- hello... Soul Man; it's still too soon for black face.

2) Amputees-- for featuring a character with claw hands, then exposing the claw hands to be fraudulent; clearly mocking the disabled community.

3) WWF (World Wildlife Fund)-- for depicting Pandacide

4) Stanley Kubrick, Martin Scorsese & Oliver Stone-- for stealing serious scenes and spoofing them for purely laugh inducing gains

5) Vietnam Vets-- war is not funny; there has never been a comedic war movie before in the history of time and it should be left that way.

6) Rosie O'Donnell-- for Jack Black looking too much like her, further perpetuating the idea that lesbians look manly

7) Hairy men-- Tom Cruise is a poser; actors should not ever pretend to be something they are not. Clearly he is mocking the follicly blessed.

8) Drug addicts-- "Jonesing" is more unfunny business; drugs kill. Showing drugs in film also makes it seem ok for kids to do drugs and it teases the addicts.

9) Pink Smoke-- certainly better utilized in an array of Prince concerts

10) Energy Drinks-- who invited this promotional part-time go-go-go juice to the club. You're either committed or you're not.

11) Gay men-- there is nothing wrong with being gay; why does Alpa Chino not immediately shout from the rooftops that he loves Lance Bass. Hiding who you are in fictitious comedy is not funny.

12) C. Thomas (Soul Man) Howell-- for being bested by Downey

13) Rae Dawn Chong-- for not being cast in what could have been her comeback

14) Tivo-- for abuse and destruction of a perfectly good device

15) Jelly beans-- for not truly being jelly beans, rather an addictive narcotic. Drugs still aren't funny. Jelly beans are, but not when doubling as drugs.

16) Heroin dealers-- for heroin being masked as jelly beans; customers will expect them now.

17) Denture wearers-- it's not funny to have missing teeth; clearly Stiller's lack of consideration displays prejudice against the toothless.

18) Dramas-- nothing should ever be funny or an attempt at humor; tears, bleeding hearts, raw emotions only. Comedies mock everything dramas stand for, that life is serious and only serious.

19) Star Trek-- for getting a mere 5 seconds of screen time. William Shatner should have made an appearance just 'cause. He's serious.

20) Thunder-- did you hear any thunder? I didn't hear any thunder.

Laughter and being able to decipher comedy vs. condemnation is for the heartless. These are all very serious matters. Who's with me?

(If you can't tell how firmly my tongue is planted in my cheek, don't even bother seeing this movie)

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